Hey girl. I see you.

Jesus said to LOVE others as we LOVE ourselves, and yet, as women, we are constantly tearing each other apart. I mean seriously. If there is anything consistent about a woman it's her bitterness towards other women.
What the heck. Why are we like that?
Envy. Anger. Greed. Spite.

Ugh. Those are some nasty words.

As a woman, I know how hard the world is on us.
We are never, never, never good enough.

We have got to uplift and encourage each other.
I remember the hurtful things that people have said to me or about me, but the memories that I could never forget are when people have complimented me, supported me, helped me, lifted me.

We all love that. So why don't we live that?

Here's to the girls;
that color their hair blue and the ones that have never cut their hair.
that wear sweatpants everyday and the ones that wear heels to buy groceries.
that didn't cook supper or do the laundry, because you needed a flipping break today.
that went to Target to get milk and bought a new curling iron instead.
that failed out of school, but you're going back next semester to try again.
the ones with and without makeup.
to the one without a diploma and the one with 12.
that got a divorce, that got pregnant too young, that had a perfect plan and didn't follow it at all.
that color in your eyebrows or shave the side of your head.
to the doctor, the nurse, and the CNA.
to the ones that take extra long showers to escape from your kids.
the sinners and the saints.

I get it that we aren't perfect. But wouldn't life be much easier if we loved like Jesus did? Wouldn't we feel perfect.....

You are beautiful. You are right where God wants you to be. You are holy, righteous, and redeemed.

Even if you only got out of bed to pee and eat today.

We will both do better tomorrow.
All that I am.
Kathryn ♡

Dear Agony..

I'm sick. I'm sick of you.

-- of the heavy feeling crawling through my veins every minute of every hour of every day causing me to want to hurl my lunch... if I even ate anything.

You won't let me eat.

You won't let me read.

You won't let me focus.

You've got my nerves so worked that I'm shaking, my heart is racing...

You've become part of my life: My closest friend. Just shut up.

It's not fair what you're telling me. It's not fair what you're invading my head with.

Just, let go of me!
Let me shine..

I know how you work.
You've come only to steal from me, kill me, destroy me...

There is a place for you.
and it's not here with me..

I've been to Hell and back, I've not come this far and fought this hard, to let you take me down with you.

my God is bigger than you.
Bigger than me.

Bigger Than This.

So. Let go of me.

You will soon be a small, small, part of my story and how I've OVERCOME every single thing Satan puts in my way because my God is SO MUCH BIGGER.

Get outta here with that crap.

With All That I Am,
Kathryn ♡ ♡

Stereotypes. I get it. Kinda.

We've all profiled someone based on how they dress, talk, walk... 

Sometimes, it's good to do that. I get it. We need to be aware of our surroundings for our safety.

What I don't get is putting someone in a specific category based on their hair cut, their tattoos, their braces, their sense of style.

Why do we as a society accept the Jock and the Cheerleader but turn our heads to the hippie or the biker?

Given the stereotypical reputation of jocks and cheerleaders, (saying this knowing my husband and I were these things) we see that they party, have sex, smoke pot, make bad grades...

AS WELL AS THE STEREOTYPE FOR BIKERS, TATTOO ARTISTS, REDNECKS, FRAT BOYS.

So why is one group of SINNERS accepted and the others are not?..

As a church we turn a blind eye to people because they are different. We think they are lost, or broken, or full of hate and dark nasty sins, when maybe they just like that style.

Maybe they are a better Christian than you.

We wouldn't know because they aren't wearing Chacos and comfort colors. So we don't talk to them.

Instead. We judge them.

We all fight the same demons. Some have been exposed. Some people get caught. Some hide it away.

We are all sinners.

John 3 17.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

And if the whole point in the Gospel is to be Christ like and spend the word of Salvation.... why are we condemning instead of accepting?

With All That I Am,

Kathryn.

You're addicted to what?

When someone is ADDICTED to something they have withdrawals from not using it.

Examples: caffeine, opiates, meth, nicotine, etc etc.

These people need medication from long term use and then coming to a halt of these things.

These people need more than medication, but withdrawals are a beast that medication helps with. They also need Jesus.

Let me get to my point.

You don't have a shopping addiction. That's called GREED.

You don't have a sex addiction. That's called LUST.

You don't have a baked potato addiction. That's called GLUTTONY.

no one needs flipping medicine because they can't quite watching PORN or keep their PANTS PULLED UP. That's an issue with your HEART.

Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and we give him a pass because he has a "SEX ADDICTION".

UHHHH. NO.

You can't retire because you have a shopping addiction, so we turn our heads and keep unloading Target bags from the back of your car.

UHHHH. NO.

We have literally watered down the gospel SO much that we will allow people to do whatever they want and because they say they are "sick" when the consequences hit home we comfort them and give them a pass for their SIN.

you have to walk that crap out.

So do it and quit making up excuses.

You don't have to do it alone.
But, you have to quit rolling around in it.

Satan doesn't get us all at once.
He starts at you one step at a time.

One bad thought, then one bad website, then one bad phone call, then one hook up.

One credit card, then one bad check, then one house full of crap, and a heart filled with nothing.

He knows what you genuinely struggle with and he will use it against you. Don't let him. Bc then he will tell you that you're sick. And leave you there alone and all you have is the world and it's consequences.

Jesus Christ is THE only answer.

Are you really a Christian?

Here recently I've been really convicted about the way we (as a church, as believers) live our life.

Based on Facebook posts and T shirts that I see people wear, pretty much everyone within a 50 mile radius of me in all directions is Christian.

But, let's get real.

As a Christian we are disciples of Christ. Our main goal is to preach Jesus and His ministry. When Jesus called us to be His disciples he said "Repent. Sin NO. MORE."

He said pick up your cross and follow Him.
Not the world. Not your Pastor. Not your grandmother. Him. Jesus.

Too many times we get in a clique of people that believe and live out the kind of lifestyle we do, and if they say their Christian. We are too right? We are not convicted about anything. We've become complacent.

When Jesus said sin no more, he meant everything. Not just the things that the world doesn't accept.

The world doesn't agree with murder, just like Jesus. But the world tells us to sleep around until we find the man we want, and Jesus says no. But we turn our heads to this because it's accepted.

WHY?

if we are born again sold out believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ what in the world would make you want to live in a lifestyle of sin??

And if we profess to be these kind of believers, why are there divorces, babies out of wedlock, affairs, homeless people, drunks, addicts, liars, thieves, gossipers?????

WE CANNOT PICK AND CHOSE THE PIECES OF THE BIBLE THAT APPLY TO OUR LIFE AND MAKE US FEEL GOOD.

WE CANNOT WALK IN A WAY THAT WOULD LEAD SOMEONE ELSE TO A PATH STRAIGHT TO HELL.

THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE SITUATIONS WHERE WE CAN FAKE IT TIL WE MAKE IT.

Revelation 3
So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

1 John 1
But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Growing up, I talked the talk but never walked the walk. One day I will have to account to my Savior for all the people that looked at my lifestyle and turned from the church because I was a hypocrite.

I deserve nothing but Hell.
Yet, I have been given a clean slate.

What are you doing with yours?

Just an idiot.😑

I'm so excited for today.
To get things rolling for God and His kingdom. To glorify Him.
I'm really so excited yall.
But, in the midst of all this excitement, I let the Devil creep in and my flesh gets in the way. I get stressed and mad and completely lose my cool. WHY? why? Omg. Why?

It doesn't matter now because the only thing I can do is let it go and move on, learn from it. Pick up my cross. Hold my stones. Turn my cheek.

Next time I'll know.
But, when I come home and I listen to God I find so much comfort in knowing that He doesn't use the perfectly put together people.

*SIDE NOTE*
totally not saying that if you have it all put together He won't use you, He will, more power to you haha.

The ones with kids that mind, and the cars that always have gas. The perfect GPA, or the longest touchdown pass. He's not looking for those.

He's looking for the broken ones. The people that are hungry for him. The ones that know there is no life without HIM. That literally crave His presence.

GOD USES THE IDIOTS.
Like me. Like KING DAVID. Like APOSTLE PAUL.
The ones that ruin the nights they look forward to because they let their FLESH get in the way.

We are just a bunch of flipping idiots.

And I find peace in knowing that I'm not alone. He knows I'm an idiot. He made me that way so that I would HAVE to rely on him. That's why he uses me. He's pruning me. He's training me.

ROMANS 7VERSE21-25

Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being, I delight in God’s law but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject?Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Just a flipping idiot.

Kathryn♡♡♡

THE STRUGGLE, YALL. It's real.

Recently I took my Facebook account off of my phone so that I wouldn't be tempted to get on it.
I did this for one reason only.

I have a HUGE problem with anxiety. I have this problem in my head where I will look at everyone's beautifully put together life on social media and compare it to mine.
What have I done? Where am I? Why does she have that? Why are they proud of her? Why is no one proud of me? Why do we struggle? Who are they to get to do that? Why can't I do that? Why do they deserve that God?
Basically, I get a horrible case of the "poor me's".
WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT!!
It gets to the point where I actually get mad at the people that have their life together?! WHAT? WHY?
it's not their fault that I made bad decisions and they didn't, or I made people mad and they didn't?
Also, how am I supposed to know that those women aren't feeling just as inadequate as I am?

As stupid as it may sound to some of you, it really hurts me in my walk and completely ruins my day. Completely.
It physically will make me sick.
It's stupid. But it's real.

And, you see.
This is what the enemy does.
He attacks us where we are weak.
I am absolutely fine in my past, I'm fine in sharing that I was pregnant early, or I used drugs, or any of the horrible ugly things I've done that the world would think I should be ashamed of.
But, it's where I have failed, or dissapointed or not followed my dreams that someone else has achieved that get me.
Which is stupid. And Satan knows that hurts me. So he uses every tool he can to rub it in my face.

But, as a woman that has such an ugly past and that tries so hard, I should NOT BE hurt by others? I should be encouraged by the strength of others? I should be proud of the others mom's that try just as hard, or harder to follow what God has called them to do, I should be their number one cheerleader!?

But, I'm not because I'm jealous that they got a new purse before I did? Say that out loud and tell me how stupid it sounds.

Social media can be used for so much good. And I love to tell the world about MY accomplishments and MY boys. But, when the coin is flipped why does it bother me?

I think my fruit tree may need some pruning.

Satan has been all over me lately and I have tried so hard to fight the urge to give in. I felt like just telling the truth would be a slap in his face.

I ask, from the bottom of my heart, for everyone to pray with me to stop feeling so attacked by myself so that I can be a better leader, a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and a better christian.

That's all I'm here for.

All That I Am..
Kathryn ♡♡

Six Years Ago.

Over six years ago I spoke the two words that broke my mom into a million pieces.
"Yes ma'am"
You're all probably confused right now.
So, Let me explain.

I never had any symptoms.
No pain. No sickness. Nothing.
After a basketball game. A playoff game. Tyler played great by the way. I just felt it.. we needed to go take a test. I didn't really know why. I just kind of knew.

We went to Sonic.
Gross.
The test was in fact, Positive.

I cried. Tyler laughed.
He said, and I quote. "This will be the time of our lives"
HAHAHAHAHAHA. HE'S AN IDIOT.

I was silent the whole ride home thinking of my little sisters, and my brother. What would they think? My mom? Oh Lord. My dad? Tyler is dead meat.

Tyler dropped me off. My mom was on the porch. I walked up, sat down. Started small talk about the awesome ball game we just had, she took one look at me..

" you're pregnant, aren't you? "

" yes ma'am "

A mother always knows..

We didn't tell my dad for another 4 or 5 weeks. Ha, funny story is I was already about 5 months when we found out I was pregnant.

Looking back, I cannot believe someone let me leave the hospital with a human being when I was that young. I cannot believe someone trusted Tyler and I with a life?! With a HUMAN CHILD?! someone to raise, to teach, to guide, and nuture. I cannot believe that it has been six years since I shook up the life of my family and friends.

I look around all the time at the youth in my community and it breaks my heart the see what's going on.. to hear, to witness etc all of the hurt, the sin, the pain.

Girls. I have been you. I have been all of you. I have been the one that falls in love with the first blue eyed quarterback that grins at you and I have been the rebel that stays out to late and lies to 3 or 4 guys to be with them all.

JUST STOP?!

I wish I had spent more time finding myself in God and who He wanted me to be and be with than who and what I wanted. It would have saved me alot of pain.

Hypocrite.

Hypocrite, according to Google, is a person who indulges in hypocrisy. Synonyms of that word are; pretender, phony, fraud, fake.

I say that to say this.

Have I drank? Yes.
Have I had premarital sex? Yes.
Have I abused prescription drugs? Yes.
Have I lied, cheated, begged? Yes.

Does it make me a hypocrite because I don't live that way anymore and I preach to others about my experiences in order to help set them free from that bondage?

Nope.
It makes me changed.

I am not the person I was a year ago. Heck, I'm not the person that I was yesterday.

Even the Apostle Paul preached about how he had to reevaluate himself on A DAILY BASIS to make sure he was walking the walk AND talking the talk.

As humans we make comments like... "I saw her at a party one time..." "He used to call me every night while he was engaged..." "I have seen dirty pictures that got forwarded around" blah blah blah.
But why do we do that? Maybe all of that is true. Maybe you just read it on Facebook. Maybe you flat out made it up.
But why? To tear others down? To beat up on their walk?

As Christians, we are to help each other, to etify and make each other better.
We are to USE our past mistakes as tools to show non believers that we aren't perfect. We ALL screw up. But, in Christ we have forgiveness, love, mercy, and grace.
We are to turn from those sins and learn from them.
Not belittle each other to make us look better than the other one.
How in the world does that make us Christ like?

It doesn't.
It makes us weak.

I am in no way proud of alot of the choices I've made over my 23 years on Earth, but God is using that. He's using me.

I can now sit down in front of a group of students and honestly truly relate to them.
To the sex.
To the pregnancy.
The drugs.
The lies.
The pain.

I'm not one of their parents telling them to say no to sex, drugs, and rock n roll because it's bad. I've lived it and I can speak from the heart about why they should stay away.

So does it make me a hypocrite because I once was lost but now I'm found and I'm not afraid to shout it from the rooftops?
Nope.

Hypocrite is only a word for the weak. And name calling is for 3rd graders.

All That I Am,
Katie ♡

The day I wore that white dress.

I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday.
In the back of my mind it wasn't really a big deal because I was already part of the family and Tyler was already a part of mine.

But, at the same time, it was a huge deal.

I didn't have the fairytale wedding that I had dreamt of as a little girl.

But, it was my wedding. My day.

Our Big Day.

I remember standing at the alter and looking back at all the people there. All the people that were rooting for us. That had been rooting for us since day one.

We made it.

After the wedding. After my daddy walked me down the aisle and my parents gave me away. After the cake and the hairspray and the bubbles and birdseed...

After the party was over.
There I was, standing face to face with my husband.

In that moment, I realized that I had nothing to give him.

I lost my virginity at a very young age... to the man I later married..

But in that moment when I was ready.. mentally, physically, and emotionally ready to give myself to my husband.

I had nothing to give.

My heart was broken. Torn to pieces.

I thought back to all the times my dad had the talk with me. He tried so hard to explain the reasons why we "wait".. but I was young. I didn't really care.

No one does. Not anymore.

You see, in God's eyes when we sleep with someone, we are instantly joined together as one. We are in that moment married.
Take a minute and think about who you are married to...

Will they make a good parent?
Be a good provider?
Love you when you're ugly?

All of these things my parents told me to think about before I even DATED a guy much less slept with him.

And now, all I have to say is.
This sex before marriage thing is no joke.
We don't get to "test drive the car before we buy it"
That's not the way we were designed. Period.

Think now to all the divorces you've been in or you've seen.

Sex. Intamacy. Adultery. Pornography.
That's the leading cause.

For a long time I struggled with the thought that I wasn't "good" enough for my husband.

Had we only slept with each other. Those thoughts would have never invaded my head.
Had we waited until marriage...
My whole entire life would be different.

That's the way God programmed us.

To lay with one woman. To lay with one man.

I love my life. I would not change anything.

As christians we take sin too lightly.
We think that you shouldn't drink.
We think you shouldn't smoke.
Do drugs.
Listen to dirty music.

But we avoid the sex topic. We let our kids start dating when they're 12. We let our kids watch vulgar movies. We let our sister kiss in the backseat. We make a joke with our brother about his girlfriend.

It's not normal. It's sinful and blasphemous that we turn the other cheek to this because it's accepted by everyone else.

We are called to be different. If we blend in... how will anyone ever see the gospel?

Think about the day you, your sister, your daughter, your friend has to walk down the aisle in that white dress...

All that I am,
Katie ♡♡♡

Who are you?

I was having a conversation the other day and a comment was made.
"I'm not going to change who I am."
So, I started thinking.
Who are you? Why would you not change?
I started thinking about my life and how many times I've said those exact words. Most of the time when I was fighting with someone.
"I'm not going to change who I am. I'm not going to lose myself. I'm not going to compromise my testimony." Ect Ect.
But, who am I?

Am I an over emotional 23 year old?
Am I a mom of two boys and wife to a soldier?
Am I a student, a teacher, a coach?
Am I a depressed, stressed, addict?
Am I a hard worker, a ditch digger, a doctor, a nurse, a pipeliner?
Am I a tall, blonde, fashionista?

You could say yes to a lot of that. But the answer is no.

Do I enjoy shopping? Yes. Do I enjoy going to school? Yes. Do I enjoy being a mom and wife and sister and friend. Of course.

Do I say the occasional cuss word? Do I lose my cool? Do I struggle with anxiety and addiction? Yep.

But that's not who I am.

Do I need to change and work on a lot of stuff? Yep.

But that's not who I am.

I am the daughter of a KING. A living, breathing, King. I am a princess. I am flawless and fearless in the eyes of my Lord and Savior. I am washed. I am happy. I am beautiful.

You see, too often we compare ourselves to others. To other christians. To other marriages. To other parents.

But that's not who we are.

We are children that were breathed into our mothers womb by the breath of the ALMIGHTY GOD.
We are disciples of Jesus Christ.

{{Genesis 2:7, Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:13}}

Some of you may water this all down and think, yeah. Duh.

But, can you please take one minute and think about how awesome that is?!

Who cares that you filed bankruptcy or went to rehab. Who cares that you have tattoos and you haven't shaved your legs. Who cares that you have a brand new car and some "J's" or a 13 year old car and your socks don't match.

Who cares?! That's not who you are. That's not who I am.

Because, one day. I will have an infinite amount of purses and shoes. I will have a castle and a crown, (tiara). I will have so much formula that I never worry again. I will have all the pizza I could dream of. And, coffee. Rivers and rivers of coffee.

Most importantly, I will have no more pain. No more hurt. No more shame. No guilt. No anxiety. No fear.

I will get to worship my God with him right beside me.

So. I've said those words.
"I'm not going to change who I am"
And, I did change.
I realized my only purpose in this thing we call life.

Who are you and why would you not change?

All that I am.
Katie ♡

Dear Mama..

Dear Mama, you are appreciated.
*anyone that knows anything about life starts singing Tupac right now*
I want to tell you why you are appreciated. Of course there are all the cliche things we thank you for, like cooking supper and kissing our boo boos, but I'm here to tell you the real things we thank you for.
1. You always let me crawl in bed with you, whether I was five and I was having nightmares or I was eighteen and my period was getting the best of me. You always snuggled me until I fell asleep.
2. You bought me that dress. For pageants, for Easter Sunday, for prom, for the hell of it. You went without so that I always felt beautiful.
3. You fought for me. Even when I was wrong. You had my back under no circumstances.
4. You followed my every move. You were by my side on my first day of school and you were dragging me out of places I didn't need to be.
5. You spanked me and you made me eat soap. When I was shooting my sister with the paintball gun and when I was lying to you. You taught me that there will always be consequences to my actions.
6. You answered me every time I yelled your name.
7. You held my hand. When I fell off my bike and when I was in labor. You never let it go.
8. You kept me in church. And gave me and all my peeps a guilt trip when we didn't want to go.
9. You never stopped praying. For me. For my dad. For my friends. For my enemies.
10. You welcomed me back with forgiving arms every single time I messed up.
11. You love not only me and my siblings unconditionally but you love people that don't deserve your love.
12. You never let me leave without me knowing how much you loved me.

I sit back and I look into the eyes of my children and I know now. I know the pain I caused. I know the hurt. I know the happy. I know the love.
I used to look at some people's kids and think "how could they stand there and let that happen, how could she not kick him out, let her go, wash her hands from them?"
I know now.
I know why you never gave up on me.

and for that, you are appreciated.
Happy Mother's Day to the best mom in the world.

All That I Am ,
Katie ♡

You broke my heart, thank you.

I'm only writing to tell you how much I appreciate you. Yes. You. The boy that broke me.
You're probably extremely happy and have a steady paycheck and a beautiful wife by now, maybe even a kid or two, how awesome is that?
I'm finally happy for you, and I'm thankful that I'm not there.
I think about you every now and then, when a movie plays or a song comes on that we sang together.
3 years ago I would have found you and cussed you out everytime that song played. Today, I thank you.
I thank you for the good times and the bad.
See, I thought you were "the one". I thought we'd grow up and grow old together and when you left. Boy, I thought my life was ruined.
But, God had a better plan.
When you broke me, He picked me up and glued the pieces back together.
When you told me I was ugly. He showed me how beautiful I am.
When you lied to me, He told me the truth.
When you made me cry and ache and want to die, He showed me real love. He made me want to live.
When I prayed for you to come back, He said no. Over and over and over.
Thank God for unanswered prayers.
He showed me that in order to love someone else the way He calls us to love, I have to love Him first. With every ounce of my being.
It was hard. Believe me. But, I thank you.
Because now I have someone who actually LOVES me. Every single bit of me.
Someone who will spend their last dime on me a new purse, someone who will walk in the pouring rain to get me something out of my car, someone who will hold my hair while I puke, someone who will bring me toilet paper when they're already in bed, someone who will not only die for me but will live for me, day in and day out.
And you see, that's love.
If I had to go back and do it all over again, I would one hundred times.
So, if I ever cross your mind, know that I'm not mad and I'm certainly not broken anymore, I thank you. For everything.

All that I am,
Katie♡

The Dad Bod

It has been recently brought to my attention that the "Dad Bod" is in style.
For those of you that don't know what this trend is, it is a guy that looks fit but still has the "beer gut". Ya know, a dad.

When I was 15 and you asked me the kind of guy I wanted I would have said.. blue eyes, blonde hair, tan, tall, ABS, athletic, smart, funny, etc etc. The everyday typical 15 year old girl answer.

Ask me now, I want the Dad Bod.

Not because it's a trend. And not because my husband has that body style. But because I know how he got that body style.

My husband has always been extremely good looking. When we were in school he had all the attributes that I looked for in a high school love affair. Outwardly. 

Today. He is not that person at all.

He no longer has a 6 pack under his shirt, because he eats. Like a man. He eats all the fried, greasy, unhealthy crap that I cook. Because I cooked it.
He no longer has thick blonde wavy hair, because he shaved it. To become a soldier for the United States of America.
He no longer has thin chiseled out arms. Because he crawls in attics and moves furniture. Because he chops firewood and pressure washes the house. Because he carries a car seat and a five year old at the same time.
He no longer has baby soft hands and lotioned up legs. Because he works hard and doesn't have time for that crap.

He obtained that body type by actually being a dad.

And when I watch him wrestle around with our almost 1st grader or holding our newborn in the wee hours of the morning... or when I watch him lift his hands and worship our Savior.. or when I watch him walk away as he kisses me and leaves for work..
I see the most attractive person that I've ever laid eyes on, in style or not.

Dear Kathryn.

I am typing "Dear Kathryn" because I know that's what you went by when you were 17. I'm writing you a letter to tell you how far you've come.
So, what's up girl? Your hair looks great. You don't have kids yet so it's still long and healthy. Oh, and clean. You're still using a hairbrush. Good job.
I want to tell you some very crucial things that I wish I had listened to when I was your age. (Lol)
Stop crying over Tyler. He is a complete douche bag just like your dad has been trying to tell you.
He doesn't have time for you right now, but hang on,
he will. Just pray for him.
And in the meantime, spend time with your friends! They love you, but they are tired of coming to your rescue everytime that dbag hurts you.
This is your time to shine! Find yourself.
Wear those skinny jeans.
Color your hair pink.
Eat the WHOLE pizza.
Study for that test.
Keep practicing piano.
Run faster.
Sing louder.
And when that day comes, the day that you think your whole life is over.
Don't go to Sonic to take that pregnancy test by yourself.
For several reasons,
Number 1, Mary Beth has a test in her bathroom drawer, and that will save you from having to over draw your bank account just for 3 bucks.
Number 2, your mom is at home, on the porch, praying for you. Right now.
This is when you need her the most. Don't miss it.
I have something else to tell you, you ARE pregnant. But, your life has just begun. It is far from over.
Heck yes. It gets hard.
People are going to talk, turn there nose up, keep there kids away..
*cue in song to "hide yo kids, hide yo wife"*
(That makes no sense to you right now but give it 4 years)
Anyways, you will feel like your world is crashing down around you. It's not. This will become a very small part in an incredible testimony.
As hard as it is to understand right now,
When you see that baby boy for the first time, your heart will stop, everything around you will freeze.
I know you think you are in love now, but you have NO IDEA what love is.
That baby boy.. will save you.
Hold on girl. God is using you and through this heartache you will gain so much more than you could have without it.
Whether you are living like hell or not, God is there with you, and He will bring you out of whatever you're going through. Trust Him. Don't be ashamed to call on Him.

With All That I Am,
Katie♡

Also, start saving your money now because you get A LOT of tickets and fines that you have to pay off.

Growing Up.

For a while now I've been struggling with my age. No. I'm not old.
In the eyes of society, I'm very young. I've only been legally allowed to buy alcohol for 2 years, but I feel way beyond my years.

(it also doesn't help that if I'm not wearing any makeup I look about 14)

But, what I'm getting at is, many people look down on me because of my age, they don't want to hear my advice, or don't think I'm mature enough for certain things. Though I do have a lot of life ahead of me, I also have a lot of life behind me.

I became a MOM at the age of 17. A good mom, no. But none the less, I had to grow up long before a lot of my friends.

I have been on and off drugs.

I have held a long distance relationship while the father of my kids was over seas in AFGHANISTAN.

I have worked more than one job at a time, went to school, paid bills, bought groceries, balanced check books, bought a car, got a house, got married, and got in debt long before most of the people I grew up with ever finished their basics.

I have prayed and cried and asked God to use me. To let people see me for who I am and what I've overcome rather than a year on my driver's license.

And this is what I have to say.
Your age. It doesn't matter.

LET GOD USE YOU.
Sure, some people will never give you a chance. But, you weren't called to save everyone. You were called to carry your cross. You were called to Follow Him. You were called to Love. To be a light to those that will listen.

1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

All That I Am,
Katie ♡